July 07, 2003.

in dreams.

i dream.

in one dream, i dream about my past, present and future. they are somehow intertwined: cooking lessons in a third form home economics class, malti, genesis, annie, an encounter with a little racist white boy i don't remember having, and a boy called jordon i've never met.

in another dream, i dream about playing a fighting computer game which turns into a skiing computer game and i'm the princess in the game that needed to be saved only not anymore because we are really skiing and we go to a house, my saviour's house but it's not because my grandmother is there and also my brother, his wife and the children.

when i wake up, they make me feel weird. i worry about life and the future. i worry about my place here. i wonder who i am.

[ look back ] [ look forward ]

[ then ] [ now ]