October 01, 2003.

losing myself.

i am very confused with my life, i don't know what i'm doing, i don't know what i want to do. i feel that i should be happy because i am doing something that i supposedly love then why do i feel so unsatisfied all the time? i think that I am good at something, what if I'm really not? i think that i'm a good person but maybe I'm not, maybe everything i think is wrong, and i have nothing to keep me from going crazy.

last night i dreamt about dadi (again). i want to fix things and i don't know how. i feel so lost, i wish someone would take my hand and show me the right direction. i'm missing something and i don't know what it is.

---