October 14, 2003.

have faith.

today he tells me that he cared, that he is mad, and then i stopped crying. i thought, when he told me that he might possibly never want to be with me again, that the thought would make me cry more, but it doesn't.

and he should be mad, he's right, i cheated on him and he did not, and has not done anything of the sort.

but he did set my hopes high, and bring them crashing down within a record length of time.

no, i'm obviously not ready to do a long distance relationship, maybe even a relationship at this stage in my life. what i thought would be bad would be good. this is good. maybe we'll realise how wrong it was, or maybe we'll realise how right it was. maybe we will reconcile, as my tarot cards said. who knows.

i for one, have realised how lucky i was, and what an amazingly good person he is.

it has almost made me forget the reason i left to begin with: to get away from him because the relationship was making me miserable.

things will sort themselves out, i know.

i have faith.

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