May 09, 2004.

is this real?

just when i think i have it sorted. just when i think i am able to deal, and move on, he will do or say something that makes me wonder if i am dreaming.

today, i was actually speechless.

from the superficialities to who he is, inside, he is the guy we make up in our dreams, the guy we joke about. the guy in the pink t-shirt, that is so hot that we can never have, with the personality that does not exist.

yet he is here, willing to be mine.

and one by one, my defenses drop, and my heart lets him in a little bit more.

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